I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
