My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
as a side note pls kill me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
