he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Your cock deserves a montage
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
