But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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