Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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