Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
