wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize