Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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