do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
