wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
