And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
