i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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