walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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