Jerry, you need to find god
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
