airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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