i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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