I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize