i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
