I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?