Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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