She is in my trunk
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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