I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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