Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
