at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
