What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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