my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
