we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
