oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
