I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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