idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just tell him i said nine months
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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