dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
