Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
