Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
