Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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