my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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