I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
