he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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