I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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