There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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