Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
