I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Randomize
