do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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