so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
