Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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