he puts the penis in happiness.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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