It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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