420 ftw
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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