If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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