got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
