i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
