Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
