I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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