You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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