dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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