The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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