I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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