Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize