i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
