Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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