Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
