How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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